Photographs

Its hard to look at photographs. It makes me sad. Desolate. Bitter. Angry. Wistful. Lonely. (Insert adjective here). I've been doing some spring cleaning. Trying out to find ways to minimize clutter in our little flat when I happened to chance upon photos. From my previous life. I don't know how to describe it. I think I'd rather cry than actually feel hollow. Its hard to be a grown up in a country where you dont have any history.
I'm a baby here with fully grown ideas and opinions shaped somewhere unrelated to my life here. Bleh.
Hollow.
I just take it one day at a time, so I can still tilt at windwills, smell the rain and feel the grass under my feet or in this case the little soil that I bought from lidl and put on a cardboard box stashed somewhere and brought out whenever I feel the urge to feel earthy.
Bleh.
The photos I looked at yesterday were those of my family. I suddenly felt this gut wrenching homesickness (which happens every once in awhile) and got on to skype to call my sister (ended up talking to the whole lot which was a good thing).
Became even more depressed after so Cori and I ended up sleeping the late afternoon away.
Woke up and felt even more awful. Horrible Cold.
Never a good idea to look at photographs.